Slovenski brancin za englesku kraljicu

Slovenski brancin za englesku kraljicu

Sjetim se s ovim naslovom iz Jutarnjeg onog starog – kako počinje recept za cigansku tortu:
Ukradeš tri jajeta…

Gle, ima veze sa zadnjim postom!

Dakle, idem rezat, al ne znam dobrog plastičara.
Ima neko neko ugodno iskustvo s čika Plastišom?
Vjekoslava, Sunčica, Severina, Josipa i Nina, molim vas da se ne javljate, fala…

Dakle, ugostiše (U Gostiše, Same) Slovenčad, pokvareni (S)Vinjetoidi (ne svi, naravno, samo ovi koji su smislili taj pederluk, Bosanci im djecu radili… Ah, pa već jesu…) englesku Kraljicu te majku.
I počastiše je tradicionalnim slovenskim jelom – pečenim brancinom

I odma mi padnu napamet one Pervanove i ine fore, poput:

Kako se zove slovenski brancin?
Siroče!

A onda pročitam da je iz uzgoja.

Damn…

Za sve koji su propustili štalu u KSETu i Palachu:
Hockey song

Pa podijelite veselje s ukućanima!

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By ribafish

Ko ide u IKEU, halooo, treba mi policaaaa!

Jel se neko razočarao u LG ili Philips plazmi?
Ili LCD-u?

Zašto Surinam ne igra prvenstvo Južne Amerike?

Čemu stremim?

Loš dan…

Al zna se ko će ga spasit!!!

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By ribafish

Odo ja.
K.

25 thoughts on “Slovenski brancin za englesku kraljicu

  1. jel netko spomenuo englesku kraljicu??? evo jednog njenog pisamca 🙂
    To :

    The Citizens of the United States of America

    From :

    Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

    In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

    (You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

    Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

    Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

    Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

    To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

    ———————–

    1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’ ‘favour,’ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’ Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).

    ————————

    2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ”like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u” and the elimination of ‘-ize.’

    ——————-

    3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

    —————–

    4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can’t sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist,then you’re not ready to shoot grouse.

    ———————-

    5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

    ———————-

    6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

    ——————–

    7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

    ——————-

    8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

    ——————-

    9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth – see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

    ———————

    10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.

    ———————

    11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

    ———————

    12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

    ——————–

    13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

    —————–

    14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

    —————

    15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

    God Save the Queen!

  2. ima moj kolega s pingića friško iskustvo s filips plazmom (nadam se da sam potrefio vrstu tehnologije i te stručne ključne riječi). pitaj što te zanima. pozdrav Roku a i tebi.

  3. dobro da nisam slovenka…još
    sicer pa, če boš še naprej pisal grde besede o slovenskih ribah, ti naslednjič ne bodo potrdili DDV-ja na meji, pa še carino boš spet plačal na hrvaški strani 😀 …
    lep pozdrav iz dežele slovenskega brancina

  4. Bila u Ikei prekjučer, šta nisi prije viko :)))
    A da ti samo kažem da će ti ta polica za novine biti jako kratkog vijeka…a pitaš se sigurno zašto to znam…
    a kad ti mali krene sam zapišavati teren, vjeruj mi na riječ, prvo će ti zapišat poliucu i novine.
    smrad se ne da oprati ni sa vrućom parom i solnom kiselinom…

  5. Lipa mare carica si,vec se dugo nisam tako dobro nasmijala, dobar pocetak dana definitivno =)

    Pici na sveti duh dr.rasicu ili huljevu ako nije isao u penziju.

  6. izbacili me sa fejsbuka jer sam pazi-puno komunicirala s ljudima.
    hfdsjv fne
    jesu tebi vratili nazad account ili?
    mislim nie mi tesko napravit novi neg glupo mi je kai mi je sve otislo kaimi je bili na accountu

  7. phillips LCD dela ko nov vec petu godinu. a sto se rezuckanja tice, preporucujem dr. Borića tam negdje kod vlaske (ili mozda cak U vlaskoj). guglaj, naci ces.

  8. nemoj samo kod glumicica, jer ces biti kao sve gore nabojani-e, izgubit ces identitet i mozda dobit frizuru ko ante?! stvarno, zar to neces srediti perko HZ, sta ides privatno? pozdrav

  9. malo kasnim ali:
    Što je rekla britanska kraljica kada je posjetila Sloveniju?
    – Lijepo vam je ovdje. Podsjeća me na moj vrt.

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